In search of a pram

well the end of another week and I just feel so depleted. We faced yet another rejection this week in our hunt for a new place and it's getting harder to pick the pieces up after continuous disappointment.

I need cheering up right now and something to distract my mind away from it all, getting organised makes me feel secure and safe so right now that's what I really need to be doing.
Tomorrow we will go and put a pram on layby and maybe go and look at other nursery stuff. The car seat has been purchased and mum and dad will bring that when they visit on the 17th they have been fantastic with helping us get ready for bub which we are very grateful for. I have organised a loan of some of the major essentials like the bassinet and baby bath and a friend has convinced me I should go ahead and have a baby shower - It's really the best chance and probably the only chance I have to catch up with friends before bub arrives.

Swan - Beema Q elite

Update....

Pauls mum met us at Baby Co and we put the pram on layby so that's a small weight off my mind, went with the portafino (red/black) will go and purchase a sun cover later as I think it's an essential. Then we headed off to Babies Galore to have a browse & we have decided on the boori - paddington cot which we will puchase after bub is born and the baby grant comes in.

Lunar Eclispse

Last night there was a lunar eclipse and the moon turned a deep red orange colour, It was beautiful & the night sky was clear and perfect for seeing this phenomenon that we won't see now for another 4 years. I set up the camera with the long angle zoom lens on a tripod in the front yard and took this shot I think its pretty special.

Book in @ Nepean

Yesterday at 2pm I had my appointment at Nepean for the initial book in, I made the appoinment more than 2 months ago & this was the first time they could give me. Just shows how high the birth rate really is down there. So I went to admin to fill out forms and then they sent me up to women & children outpatients ward where I met with a Midwife - debbie did not keep me waiting long at all & once in the consultation room I got handed my Bounty bag - basically a pregnant womens show bag! full of goodies and magazines to read. Then I was weighed, blood pressure checked and bubs heart beat checked - all perfect... she asked me alot of questions about my lifestyle & family history which is added to my file at the hospital. I got given the yellow card which I have to take to all my appointments from now on (it's basically a medical history that is portable). I got to ask questions and I was really pleased with the outcome of it all, has put my mind at ease and so far come across as being open and supportive to a few things that may be considered alternative to some. This will help me put together my Birth Intentions sheet over the coming weeks as I now have a much better idea of the kind of things I need to write in there and the kind that I don't. We finished off with a wee sample to check if I had any urinary infections - I don't, and I was out of there on time, perfect.

Paul picked me up out front, the car full of lengths of timber from his trip to bunnings - we really need roof racks! I don't like being in a car with potential spears right behind my head. Such a beautiful day, it was actually quite hot, balmy almost. Days are definitely getting longer as It didn't get dark till around 6ish, after doing some grocery shopping & on our way home you could just smell bbq in the air. This weather just makes me feel so good.

Anxiety

I am a bit of a night owl it's a habit I've developed living with Paul as is the life of a bartender. But not long after going to bed last night I awoke feeling anxious for no particular reason , maybe I ate dinner too late before going to bed? But it's not a nice feeling it's like a sensation of closing in, quite overwhelming if you let it take over. So I got up and filled the sink with hot water and used my lavender body wash and a hot towel all over, made sure I was breathing through my nose and then went back to bed listening to some relaxation music which all seemed to help calm me. I then just sat up in bed for a while just watching my belly move as bub kicked and they were quite strong, I am finding that bub is responsive to my touch now.

I hate the feeling of being out of control of my own body which is exactly what the feeling of anxiety is & I know this will be something I need to deal with more as my pregnancy progresses and my body changes and becomes more uncomfortable as well as during the pain of labour, but I know I can get past it with relaxation techniques as it is after all "all in the mind" so I will be glad when my Hypno birthing book finally arrives and I can get started on preparing myself more for labour & giving birth.

25 weeks

Pure exhaustion

I am very literally almost asleep on my feet tonight, work was a major struggle today I just felt absolutely exhausted and kept getting light headed on and off all day which made me feel very crappy. I try and focus my mind on something else when I feel a bit dizzy, deep breaths to stop the anxiety creeping in and lots of water and I get through it ok. It was the opening night of Helen Lampiere show at Art Space last night, I am soo proud of Paul being selected to be part of it & his work looked great.

We trained it to the city and walked across the Domain to Woolloomooloo, It was windy and very cold & my new shoes kept slipping on me and I constantly had to stop to fix the insoles so they would stay on and I could walk. There were lots of people and smoke and noise which made me tired quite quickly, standing on my feet I felt a little light headed so had to go and sit down and kind of demand I really needed to eat. We went and had a pub meal with some friends and then on to the Bells which was very noisy but the music was good - Bob Dylan, Paul Kelly, Metallic songs all the old favorites. Bub was certainly very active in response to our surrounds. I felt such a ball and chain as I was just so tired and a little put out that all the smokers had to sit out side in the freezing cold, sure ok if you have a little alcohol in the system to keep you warm while here's me completely sober and not wanting to second hand smoke for the health of our child so I was left hanging about inside. The train ride home was extremely long and cold, I was very glad to get home for a hot shower. This morning I woke in the early hours and felt very sick & then in my head I was so worried I'd hurt our baby by being out so late and getting so very cold and breathing in more smoke than I would have liked to, I felt so guilty.

Feeling big

I'm feeling big at the moment, it's only in the last week that I seem to have gotten bigger and the belly is more noticeable when I'm doing things, it's starting to get in the way a bit and I have to lean over it at work. I am 6 months this weekend another little milestone and bub has been more active in the last few days. It seems to be on and off some day's go by and I hardly notice any movement then there will be several days in a row that bub makes their presence known. A girl who left work on maternity leave about 2 weeks ago had her bub on Wednesday morning, makes me feel excited that it will be me soon enough. We are still looking for a new place to live which is very frustrating and we may even have to move completely out of the area, somewhere that is family & pet friendly. Thinking about South Windsor which is an area I have always loved but of course it will throw my pre-natal care plans out of the water and I will have to change hospitals but If it's meant to be then I think we should just go with it. I want to live somewhere that has a sense of community and is family orientated where I can easily get about and meet other young mums and raise our child in a safe, happy environment. Windsor also is partly still a rural area so there's plenty of green spaces. I really like the idea of moving there.

Maternity

My eBay purchase arrived in the mail yesterday so I now have three new tops to wear. I am finding even the longest of my regular pre-pregnancy tops starting to ride up and expose my belly so I have invested in buying some well fitting maternity tops from an Aussie designer's Ripe & Szabo. I really love them and they make me feel good so I have requested a mail order catalogue from Ripe so I can buy a few more things.

22 weeks

22 weeks

Your baby is about 7.6 inches long and weighs about 12.3 ounces. Your baby's muscles are developing and becoming stronger week by week. During week 22 of pregnancy, your baby will respond regularly to sound, rhythm, and melody. The sounds that your baby hears in your womb will soothe him or her after birth.

At this point in your pregnancy, your baby's brain and nerve endings are formed just enough so that the baby can feel touch. Other developments include the eyelids and eyebrows becoming well developed, the fingernails are completely formed, and taste buds have started to form on your baby’s tongue

At this stage in my pregnancy I'm feeling pretty good apart from a few aches and pains in my back and behind my knees but I have lots more energy than I did in the first trimester. I have a belly now but it's not too big just yet - I can still see my feet & it's not in the way. I feel pregnant when I see my belly getting bigger, it seems to be slowly growing. Sometimes I have had to take a reality check that I'm really going to have a baby in four months, it blows me away but I'm excited about meeting our little one, wonder what he or she will look like and how we will handle this new part of our lives. I woke up the other morning feeling baby kicking and they were stronger than I had felt before, I grabbed Paul's hand and put it on my belly so he could feel them too. I find our baby is most active in the mornings and late at night when I am lying still I can feel movement and little kicks. I haven't bought much stuff for bubs arrival just yet as I'm just waiting till we get settled in a new place which I hope is very soon. I want to make an effort to update this journal on a more regular basis as things change so subtly and quickly and I want to be able to look back and know how I was feeling. I bought some Johnny Cash the other day as I have been meaning to for quite some time, that voice.. I really want to buy some Fiona Apple as well really into her right now.